Men don’t cry. This lie has been drummed into our heads so much that we’ve normalised this unnatural expectation. A man who sheds tears is more likely to be taunted than comforted.
It’s a fact that it’s more socially acceptable for a woman to cry than a man.
Whether in public or private, a woman can cry without any judgement or stigma attached to it. Besides this, women have their circles of friends called ‘chamas’ where they vent, laugh and cry. They empty their minds and heart, have a glass of wine or cup of tea and head home. That is a circle of healing for them, as the actions have a cathartic effect.But what do men have that can be counted as an equivalent of this? Maybe a bar where he can drink up with fellow men, who would most likely scoff if he started sobbing. Women too, might wonder what kind of man he is. And men have, over the years, paid a heavy price for not being allowed to cry. FindingsResearch the world over has shown that men are more prone to mental health challenges than women, and the Covid-19 pandemic exacerbated this. In June 2020, the Chief Administrative Secretary of Health, Dr Rashid Aman, pointed out that the Covid-19 pandemic caused enormous health, socioeconomic and psychological impact on the population, adding that containment measures such as staying at home, physical distancing and restricted movement directives adversely affected social and mental well-being of healthy individuals by inhibiting social interaction, social connectedness and engagement in healthy lifestyles. We heard of cases of men who spent the whole day in parking lots, drinking themselves silly with “the boys” and probably commented that they were just “boys being boys”, unaware of what was brewing beneath the surface. Unaware that some of these men had reached the end of their tethers and were barely holding on but could not cry out for help because, well, they were men. And men don’t cry. Gender-based violenceTherein lies the problem. Treating men as superhuman and infallible creatures often drives them into the jaws of mental health issues, with the most common one being depression, which affects more than 1.9 million in Kenya alone. In the past decade, cases of suicide in the country have risen at an alarming rate of 58 per cent, with data showing that more men are likely to die through suicide than women. The growing numbers of gender-based violence cases, with men often being the perpetrators, have also been linked to mental health challenges. The mental health task force led by Dr Frank Njenga recommended that mental illness should be declared a national emergency of epidemic proportions to prioritise mental health as a priority public health and socioeconomic agenda in July 2020. But they also acknowledged that one of the biggest hindrances to addressing the mental health challenges is stigma and that there should be strategies for dealing with the same. That’s just it, don’t you see?We have to allow men to cry as a first and significant step towards coping with stigma. It’s one of the best gifts we can give them in 2022.
Research the world over has shown that men are more prone to mental health challenges than women.Whether in public or private, a woman can cry without any judgement or stigma attached to it.
Men don’t cry. This lie has been drummed into our heads so much that we’ve normalised this unnatural expectation. A man who sheds tears is more likely to be taunted than comforted.
It’s a fact that it’s more socially acceptable for a woman to cry than a man.
Whether in public or private, a woman can cry without any judgement or stigma attached to it. Besides this, women have their circles of friends called ‘chamas’ where they vent, laugh and cry. They empty their minds and heart, have a glass of wine or cup of tea and head home. That is a circle of healing for them, as the actions have a cathartic effect.But what do men have that can be counted as an equivalent of this? Maybe a bar where he can drink up with fellow men, who would most likely scoff if he started sobbing. Women too, might wonder what kind of man he is. And men have, over the years, paid a heavy price for not being allowed to cry. FindingsResearch the world over has shown that men are more prone to mental health challenges than women, and the Covid-19 pandemic exacerbated this. In June 2020, the Chief Administrative Secretary of Health, Dr Rashid Aman, pointed out that the Covid-19 pandemic caused enormous health, socioeconomic and psychological impact on the population, adding that containment measures such as staying at home, physical distancing and restricted movement directives adversely affected social and mental well-being of healthy individuals by inhibiting social interaction, social connectedness and engagement in healthy lifestyles. We heard of cases of men who spent the whole day in parking lots, drinking themselves silly with “the boys” and probably commented that they were just “boys being boys”, unaware of what was brewing beneath the surface. Unaware that some of these men had reached the end of their tethers and were barely holding on but could not cry out for help because, well, they were men. And men don’t cry. Gender-based violenceTherein lies the problem. Treating men as superhuman and infallible creatures often drives them into the jaws of mental health issues, with the most common one being depression, which affects more than 1.9 million in Kenya alone. In the past decade, cases of suicide in the country have risen at an alarming rate of 58 per cent, with data showing that more men are likely to die through suicide than women. The growing numbers of gender-based violence cases, with men often being the perpetrators, have also been linked to mental health challenges. The mental health task force led by Dr Frank Njenga recommended that mental illness should be declared a national emergency of epidemic proportions to prioritise mental health as a priority public health and socioeconomic agenda in July 2020. But they also acknowledged that one of the biggest hindrances to addressing the mental health challenges is stigma and that there should be strategies for dealing with the same. That’s just it, don’t you see?We have to allow men to cry as a first and significant step towards coping with stigma. It’s one of the best gifts we can give them in 2022.