Nannies want a little respect

“You are not my parent to keep ordering me around,’’ a 10-year-old screamed at her nanny. “You are paid to work and not tell me what to do!” the child added. This was after she had asked the youngster to do their homework.
Betty Nakuu, 18, would stand anything from her boss but not from the children who used to accuse her falsely. Nakuu says every time she asked them to do house chores they would either ignore or yell at her. She quit her job.

Setting goals
Rose Namuddu, who started working as a nanny in 1990, shares her experience. On hiring her, she had to tell the bosses her expectations.
“I was to ensure that I take care of their children and the children were to listen and do what I asked of them,” Namuddu recalls. This was said in their presence and it was adopted by the first born and later passed on to those born later.
“Children never talked back at me because their parents never shouted at me. Whenever I disagreed with my bosses, we talked in private which earned me respect,” Namuddu explains.
However she adds, parents are responsible for the way children behave towards nannies. If they talk negatively about their nannies in the presence of their children, children will do the same.

Two-way relationship
Parents expect a lot from nannies but rarely tell their children how to behave towards the new member of the family.
William Matovu, a father of four, says having a nanny, despite their age, is adding another adult to your parenting team. Parents should let their children know that much as these people do house chores, they deserve to be respected and treated as family. Talk to children about how they must respond to this new member of the family and what will happen to them in case they disrespect her. Let them know respect is for all,” he explains.

Nanny: A figure of authority
Matovu says one of the biggest mistakes parents make is always siding with their children. “Nannies are capable of the worst and can do anything unlawful to children. Some parents forget that at times children accuse nannies falsely and if not investigated properly, it can sabotage your relationship with the nanny,” says Matovu. He adds that parents think yelling and denying nannies some privileges ensures house chores are well done. Such actions instead make the child rebellious and disrespectful towards their nanny.
“Parents ought to teach and show children why they need to respect their nanny as a figure of authority,’’ he opines.

Be supportive
Ruth Nakayi,a mother of two, says on many occasion parents contradict with the nanny.
For example, if the nanny asks the child to go to bed, the child runs to the parent who instead encourages the child to keep playing. She says not supporting your nanny’s decisions regarding the child’s discipline, is enough to prove to your child that listening to the nanny is a waste of time.
Some children, especially the teenagers, will take advantage of the situation and start exchanging words with the nanny. However, agreeing with her teaches children to respect their nanny.

Speak to your nanny in private
Monica Lubega, a counsellor, says mistakes are human, but when overly done they are irritating. Instead of beating or raising your voice at the nanny in front of your children, speak to her in private. Every time you embarrass her she loses confidence and might get bitter with the children. Any form of tension between you will make children disrespect her. Give her credit when it is due.

Disrespect...
• Monica Lubega, a counsellor, says lies children tell to their parents about the nanny might injure the trust parents have.
• Some children deliberately ignore the nanny’s request to do chores. They talk back and argue with the nanny.