BACK SEAT DRIVER: Doctors visit

Mark Kawalya

What you need to know:

The lab attendant produced a syringe so big I am sure the thing is used in the veterinary field.

It has been several years since I fell sick, so imagine my surprise when I woke up with a throbbing headache, body chills, and a feeling of general unwellness. I headed to a clinic somewhere in Ntinda and sat in line like a good boy. I was the humblest I have been in years. There is a way that sickness humbles everyone. I believe sick people offer the greatest greetings to strangers. They also use words like please, thank you, sorry a tad generously. These are expressions that people that are well often do not have the time for.

A nurse called out my name and led me to this little room with large charts with medical diagrams to check for my vitals. She hooked me onto the blood pressure monitor and begun pressing the little pump. I secretly wondered if this machine could be used to inflate a bicycle tyre. Don’t you ever have random thoughts sometimes the contents of which are so out of this world you wouldn’t mention them to another person? Another thought I have is how many minutes would you have to set the microwave if you wanted to dry your cat in it? I mean there has to be that safe time that will not cook the cat but will dry him. Those kinds of thoughts.
Next was the weighing scale which I jumped onto to take the weight measurement. When all this was done, the nurse asked me to head back to the waiting area.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity but I took it in stride patiently waiting for my turn. Eventually the doctor called me in and I dragged myself into his office wearing a sullen face like I was soon to be a goner. The doctor, a middle aged man wearing a white doctors’ coat over his clothes asked what ailed me. I gave him an earful of all the symptoms as he scribbled on a writing pad. He sent me to the laboratory to get some blood work done.

The lab attendant produced a syringe so big I am sure the thing is used in the veterinary field. “Is that for humans?” I politely asked the lady and she nodded while grinning possibly happy about the pain she was about to inflict. She strapped my arm to make a vein appear and proceeded to draw blood using the enormous syringe. When she was done I quickly left her lab just incase she needed to draw more blood. After another session in the doctor’s office I left the clinic with a bagful of medication and a vow not fall sick any time soon.